It’s not the end… but a new beginning!

Markcirca2012It is with great sadness that I inform you that my husband, Mark Clark passed away on January 17, 2013 after a long battle with kidney disease.

Initially I was just going to update this blog with the news and then abandon the whole thing. I’ve decided that this is not what I want to do – nor is it what Mark would have wanted. While Mark is gone from this world, he lives on in my heart and the hearts of his friends, colleagues, and family.

I want to continue writing this blog. It won’t be the trials and tribulations of what it is like to be the wife of a man with kidney disease, but instead it will be about my life without my husband, life partner, and best friend. It’s not going to be a bunch of maudlin, sniveling, and sappy posts about how sad I am or how horrible it is to be a widow.

I want this blog to show my journey as I walk down a lonely road, but come out better, stronger, and content with how my life has turned out.

I will have bad days.  I will be sad.  It will be lonely. But I want to have hope and faith that I can be the person that Mark always encouraged me to be!

I’ve been told that I am a strong person by several different people. I never felt that I was, but now I have to be. I will need my friends, and I will need to learn to reach out for help. This will be very difficult for me and extremely foreign, but I want to honor Mark’s memory and make him proud of the woman that I am determined to become.

It is my hope to continue to help people who are in a similar situation. I know this blog will start to attract a different crowd, but as long as I find writing it to be therapeutic and as long as I can help someone out there, I will continue to write it.

Over the next several days, I will recount the night of his death and how I reacted in the moments and days following it. I will share how I learned that I have more friends than I ever could have imagined. I will continue to share my struggles and my triumphs as I sort through the life that I had with Mark and find my life without him.

I hope you will continue to follow along as I find my way. It is also my hope that I will attract some new followers who might also be grieving over the loss of a loved one or trying to find a new path to travel.

If you followed specifically for the kidney disease/dialysis aspect, I hope that I entertained you, helped you, and encouraged you. I wish this outcome had been different, but we don’t always get what we want.

Rest in Peace my wonderful husband…. I will always love you and treasure the years we had together!

*** Thanks goes out to my friend Dave B. for encouraging me to continue to blog as a healing venue for myself and anyone else who would like to read what I have to say. Thanks Dave, you are the best!! Love ya!

  1. January 27, 2013 at 12:52 AM

    Bonni – I think this is a really smart move. Writing can be very healing. Although I never met Mark, and I haven’t seen you since we were children, I know that he would want you to keep expressing yourself, and to go for having the best life, even though he is not here to share it with you.

  2. Sharon Maibauer
    January 27, 2013 at 9:59 AM

    I look forward to reading more about your journey, Bonnie.

  3. Jenn
    January 27, 2013 at 11:16 AM

    I love your spirit, Bonni!

  4. Dave B
    January 27, 2013 at 7:31 PM

    Ok… so now I am crying….. You are a strong person and know as new chapters unfold and you begin to scrib on the blank pages you will look back and see what all of us cherish in you…. God Bless you and Rest in Peace Mark…. and Belle…. Keep mom company…

  5. January 28, 2013 at 3:41 PM

    I don’t know you, my husband has renal failure, he is also a diabetic.
    I am so sorry, my thoughts and prayers are with you

    • January 29, 2013 at 7:09 PM

      I understand exactly what you are going through with your husband’s kidney disease and diabetes. It is a tough road to travel, and I wish you peace and patience.

      Thank you for your condolences.

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